1. Being alone for some time is a great way to get to know yourself better.
Having a relationship is wonderful, but sometimes you get so lost in focusing on how to be a good couple that you forget to focus on who you are and what it is that you want.
2. But there are still lonely moments. And that’s OK!
As much as you rediscover that being alone can be really good for you, once in a while you still feel down in the dumps. And that’s normal.
3. There’s no problem with being sad from time to time.
Of course, being sad all the time isn’t healthy. But, it’s totally normal to feel sad sometimes. In fact, it’s good to let yourself feel those feelings. Recognize them, but then overcome them and carry on like the badass you are.
4. Relationships aren’t made up of only good things or only bad things, but we often forget about that along the way.
In that pre-breakup moment, it’s possible that you were just focusing on the crappy stuff that happened. Or maybe you were only thinking about the good things while the other person could no longer see anything good in the relationship. But after breaking up, you remember that a relationship is made up of both highs and lows, good and bad, and that it’s easy for your vision to become biased toward one or the other.
5. Even the smallest things will remind you of the other person.
It can be a word, a smell, a sound. It can be a Facebook post. It can be that awful food that you both loved to eat together. Some things are bound to remind you of the other person, no matter how small they are.
6. Your friends really are everything, even if you may have neglected them a little over the course of the relationship.
There’s nothing like a breakup to make you realize that you may have isolated yourself a bit from your friends. And there’s nothing like ending a relationship to realize that true friendships persevere through it all. Your friends will always be there to help you survive the worst of days.
7. You may be a little nervous at first when meeting new people.
You know that feeling: The butterflies in your stomach? The feeling of self-doubt and insecurity when you’re waiting for someone to respond to your message? The little panic attack you get when you let your guard down and show someone who you really are? Fortunately, those friends of yours are going to remind you that meeting new people is one of the unanticipated benefits of a breakup and even though it can be scary, it’s totally worth it to have more people surrounding you who support you and love you for who you are.
8. Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions, even if it hurts at the time.
You realize that as much as it hurts now, in time it’s going to get better and you’ll be alright.
9. You’re not defined by your relationship status.
You are an incredible, amazing, badass human being and, relationship or no relationship, nothing in the world is ever going to change that.
10. Breakups are a way to learn from your mistakes and become a better person.
They give you a chance to look things over and evolve.
11. It’s really strange to think about how the relationship between you and your ex is going to be.
Are you friends? Are you just civilized to each other? Or do you simply never want to see the other person again, not even if they were dipped in gold? One day you might hate their guts and the next, your brain may tell you, “Hey, this person isn’t so bad after all.” Talk about confusing. Sometime in the future you’ll understand what the dynamic will be like between the two of you, but you can’t foresee when that time will come, so just breathe and know that everything will be okay in time.
12. Not everything is forever, but that even the temporary things in life can have a good side, too.
If your relationship didn’t last forever, it’s pretty unlikely that the way you’re feeling right now will. Love yourself, love your friends, live your life, and take the time and space you need to breathe. You got ‘dis!