What does love consist of?
Psychologist Robert Sternberg offers a theory due to which love consists of 3 main components: intimacy, passion and liabilities.
- Intimacy — being close, supporting each other, partnership, common interests and values. It is growing as far as the loving beings move closer. It could be not visible while the living is quite and calm, meanwhile in the crunch, when the couple have to overcome obstacles together it become clearly performed.
- Passion — is a sense of sexual desire. It usually on maximum level in the beginning of relationships and slows down its growth further. Nevertheless it doesn’t mean that in long marriage passion is absent. Basically it transforms and do not play that much role in relationships for the couple and looses its motivation factor.
- Liabilities — readiness to stand by each other. That is the only component of love which is growing all the time and possesses the more importance the longer the relationships exist.
Types of love
Dependently of those components combination Sternberg says about seven types of love:
1. Sympathy. It includes only one component of three – the intimacy. People can posses spiritual affinity, emotion of tenderness, devotion to the щерук person, but there is no passion and loyalty.
2. Obsession. The type based on passion, with no intimacy and liabilities. As a rule, it springs up fast and the same fast goes away. That could be the love at first sight. It could stay the same passion adventure or transform to something bigger further.
4. Platonic love. That type of love contains intimacy and passion, but excludes loyalty. The relationships are close to Sympathy, but along with emotional closeness there is also chemistry between partners. That type of love is commonly described in literature and cinema scripts, Romeo and Juliette is the most well known example.
5. Partnership love. Combination of intimacy and liabilities. No more passion and probably never been. That love ties relatives, friends, married couples often.
6. Senseless love. Unusual combination of passion and loyalty, but with no intimacy and spiritual closeness. That kind of relationship often transforms to fast marriage, when the couple decides to get married after the second date. But if the intimacy do not come, the marriage ends with divorce.
7. Ideal love. Includes all three components. All couples strive to ере type of love. That is possible to achieve that state, but it takes everyday efforts. That type of love can not last for ever. That does not mean that relations broke up, they just can drop one of the components and transform to platonic or partnership love.
What to do to get loved in return?
Love arises under the influence of three factors:
1. Appropriate time. Both people have to posses readiness to fall in love.
2. Similarity. It is not a secret that like attracts like, the same people do. They usually have to have something in common: interests, values, mental views.
3. Early affection style. It depends on personality. Calm and peaceful man or woman has more capability to build long term relationships than the impulsive and uneasy.
So consider all the mentioned factors when you feel that you are falling in love with somebody, but remember that love the other person begins with total self-love and self-acceptance. Just be yourself and follow your heart.